Thanks for your patience with the silence. It has been a tough week.
I hurt. Stuff is broken. My head is fuzzy. But I am improving slowly.
The metal stitches in the back of my head are sore, but holding everything together, and seem to have stopped leaking.
Most of the scabs on my face and head have fallen off, leaving tender pink, new skin underneath. So that’s good. I look a lot less like a Frankenstein exhibit now that my left eye socket has returned to near normal size and all the black scabs are off. An improvement I think.
Some of the bigger scabs on my knees and ankles are pretty thick and they split if I move, so that needs a little more time.
My left shoulder definitely does not match my right, and my skin is changing from purple to yellow in several places where the bruising is moving through. Progress I suppose. I try to wear the shoulder sling but it is really uncomfortable. We got a new kind of figure 8 sling today that is supposed to be better and help me heal. So far, so good.
Probably the biggest challenges are not visible. My ribs and shoulder hurt all the time and make it hard to breath, sit, lay down or do anything. Not much I can do about it, so it just is what it is. The other invisible challenge that really makes life tough, is my head. It hurts all the time and won’t think. I have trouble concentrating and it’s hard to read. My hearing is impaired by around 50% the Doc figured. It feel like I have cotton in my ear.
I have spent none of my ‘free week’ on a beach, snorkelling, diving, exploring, hiking, biking or eating fun food. I spent the first part in hospital, and the rest mostly in bed here at the rental house.
Please understand I am not complaining, because given all of that….. I am quite happy.
Being ‘not dead’ will do that to a person. Perhaps you think I am being over dramatic – and I can see that, because I have a tendency. But here’s the deal:
I don’t remember the accident at all. I only know what I have been told by Doctors, Nurses, and the amazing people that were there at the scene.
My friend Peter, one of the athletes I was racing with, and the guy right behind me when I crashed wrote: “There was a huge puddle of blood form the head wound and you were just cut up, stuck in the gutter with one arm out behind you almost on the footpath. You weren’t moving and were just lifeless. The blood just kept coming, and we bent down to get an idea of how you were. I could hear such a shallow breathing, it was almost non existent….”
When Peter wrote to me: “You are one of the toughest blokes I know. I seriously think other people would’ve just given up and gone back out of consciousness so they didn’t have to deal with the pain, shock etc. you stuck with me when I asked you to. I’m so glad you did.”
I set him a photo of me and my 3.5 year old son from when I got out of the hospital….. and no more explanation was required.
I am sad for sure. Happy to be alive for SURE as I have said…..and I am SO thankful to Peter, Adam, Gary, Lyle, Doug, Becka, Drew, the crews, the EMT’s and everyone else that helped that day……..
and………. I feel sad for a lot of reasons.
Most of my Ultra friends left and I never got to say goodbye…. I was in the hospital. I missed the closing ceremonies and speeches and stories, one of my favourite parts. Drew says he recorded much of it, so I hope to watch that when I get back.
My head feels fuzzy, and it’s hard to concentrate, so there is all of that going on.
Then there is the trauma of the race….. of a DNF….. Did…. Not…… Finish…….. ug. Not exactly what the sponsorship brochure said is it?
For 11 months of training, DNF was never in the plans. It never is….. and yet it annually claims about 12 to 16% of the athletes here.40 people were invited and accepted to race. Of those, 36 made it to the start line, and 31 finished. It’s a hard race to get in to, a hard race to get ready for and a hard race to finish.
I did say I would never quit…. and I didn’t. They hauled me to ICU on another island. (thankfully). I set out to race HARD and to suffer…. and I did just that. I went hard until I broke.
Now what? Lots of people have been asking me when I will race again……
At this point, I have some healing to do first, and a big year ahead with the gym and with us building a house.
I have suggested the possibility of coming back for 2016, and while that seems unlikely, it is possible. 2017 is more likely.
And what about the film?
We make it. It is a documentary. We never said it was a guarantee or roses and sunshine. it is an accurate account of the journey to the Ultraman World Championships, and this year…. it looked like this. There is a LOT of stuff worth showing you and the next step is to try and bridge the funding gap that exists….. so there’s that.
Thanks for tuning in, for your kind words and your support.
This article was written by admin