The reality is …….that is really hard to be broken, but I remain grateful and happy all the time.
Lots of people are surprised by that, but honestly it doesn’t occur to me to be anything other than grateful.
I’m grateful for the guys that stayed by my side on that bridge and kept me alive until the ambulance got there. I’m grateful for my Rudy Project helmet that protected my head enough to make my life worth saving. I’m grateful for my buddy Lyle for coming with me and staying by my side in the hospital for 3 days and never leaving that chair. I’m grateful for my crew member Doug, who cleaned up all the bloodied parts…. like my helmet and put my bike in the van, and cleaned everything up, then took my bike to the finish line on day 2, and encouraged Peter and Adam to keep racing when they didn’t want to, and all of the things that Doug did that nobody ever talks about, many of them I probably don’t even know about. I’m grateful for dozens and dozens and dozens of people who did so much to honour my race, and help out. I’m grateful for people that gave my wife a place to stay in Honolulu, for Jen who arranged for us to have a place to stay and a flight back to Kona. I’m grateful for Drew my filmmaker friend who captured some moments that people didn’t want captured because they were pretty emotional at the time. I’m Grateful for thousands of people back home that prayed for me. I’m grateful for the doctors that took care of me. I’m grateful for the people at West jet that made my awful flight home as good as they could make it. I’m grateful for the Canadian Medicare system that _really_ took care of me once I got home, discovering that my arm was broken and my shoulder was shattered, then putting me back together properly and taking care of me the way I should’ve been in the 1st place. I’m grateful for my staff that stepped up and made sure that everything at the gym was running without me for a month when I could hardly come in much. I’m grateful that I own a gym full of wonderful people that care enough to make sure I had the chance to heal when I needed it. I’m grateful that my wife took over driving me everywhere, doing all of the cooking, taking care of our 3.5 year old almost entirely solo, and every single extra thing she had to do when I was really injured. She never complained once….. Ever.
Most of all, I’m grateful to be alive.
More doctors than I can remember have told me that my brain injury should have resulted in my being a vegetable. More doctors than I can remember told me the only reason I survived, is that I was so fit and healthy. (So I am grateful that in 1997, I joined a gym and got fit, and decided to stay that way.)
Yes, it hurts to sleep. Yes, everything on my upper left side hurts all the time. Yes, I’m left-handed and my left fingers, my left hand, my left arm, and my left shoulder are broken and hurting. Yes, it has been really hard to not be the person I used to be mentally. Yes, it has been hard to make all of the doctor appointments and hyperbaric oxygen appointments and all of that stuff fit in some sort of schedule and still be a good father to my son and a husband to my wife. Yes, it has been really hard to try and keep my business going well during a recession that the stupid frigging government keeps making worse and worse and worse. yes, I love my work so much that I have only taken one single day off the entire month of January because I was in too much pain to leave the house…. And I’m tired. Yes, I lost my sense of taste, and everything tasted like burnt piss for 6 weeks. Yes, it hurts to do pretty much anything. Yes, I was 10th in the world at my favourite race, and now my 3.5 year old helps put my socks on…..
My bones are healing. With the help of hyperbaric oxygen therapy and some really great supplements, my brain is healing much faster than anyone predicted possible. My sense of taste came back. Apart from Tylenol at evening sleep time, I have been off painkillers for 8 days now. I am allowed to drive again. I’m not very fast, but I have began running again with my left arm Velcro’d to my body, and I have connected with some amazingly wonderful people in the run clinic that I am so blessed to be able to coach in spite of my injuries. My 3-year-old loves me like nothing else in the world, and is still so excited to see every day when I come home from work, no matter how tired I am. When I am too tired to get up in the morning to see him off for preschool, he runs in to the bedroom and gives me a kiss. I still remember how to do all of the fun voices for the characters in all of the books I love to read before bed every night. My wife’s parents have come to visit nearly every week and help us out around the house and do all of the chores that we can’t manage. I have more friends doing more things to help us than I knew would ever help a person. One of my gym members comes and shovels our driveway every time it snows. He never has to be asked, he is just there, and he has said that he will do it all winter. My crew at the gym continued to be absolutely, flabbergastingly, incredibly amazing. Okay, it’s not all sunshine and roses, but I work with some amazing people and I continued to be thankful for that. I am able to work a few hours in the gym in the morning, and then worked several hours from my home office, and that in itself is a gift. We have the most amazing, supportive members at our gym that continued to support us through tough times.
Above all, I will recover from this, and I will be back, and in spite of the challenges, I am far better off than so many other people who are actually really having troubles. I am very lucky, because my challenges are obvious, visible, and easy to help with. I know of people that have relatives dying of cancer, personal illnesses, financial troubles, troubles with their kids, and so much more…. And in many cases, it’s not obvious or talked about and people just get through it somehow without any help or acknowledgement.
So yeah, I am lucky, and I am happy.
This article was written by admin